The Joys Of Potty Training?!?
Posted: Monday, December 10, 2007
by Laura Trahan
My husband and I have been doing the potty training gig over the past year with our three-year-old daughter. I can honestly say that if I survive this stage in her life, nothing will ever embarrass me again!
It is an endless stream of embarrassment with the three-year-old princess. I always thought it would have been this way with the boy, who has a direct fire hose to point and shoot as he pleases. However, it never was this embarrassing or difficult. To him it was a competition. To her, it is an event that even strangers must recognize.
I have to say the most embarrassing moment was when my soon-to-be-three birthday girl decided to leave a puddle in the party store. It was a stressful day to begin with, trying to plan the ultimate Dora party for her and her friends. Needless to say, after searching for help to get a Dora piata, I never noticed the entertained child leaving her mark right in the aisle. Maybe she wanted to protect all those party supplies I told her she couldn't have. Not wanting to live through the embarrassment of once again trying to find someone to help clean it up-I did what every smart mom would do. Grab all her wipes out of her bag and clean as much as I could. Glad I always have a plastic Ziploc. Then I ran. I ran as fast as I could to the check-out, pulling her in tow.
But here is the drawback of having a birthday close to Halloween. There was a line. A long line-the one that you really do not want to see when your daughter has Christened the aisle a few feet away. So we wait. And wait. And wait. As people ask about the smell and all stare at the oblivious girl, who is still asking for things, mind you, as she is soaked from her waist to her toes. Oh, the embarrassment!
Of course, if people started to record our conversations outside the stall, it would be a comedic showcase of embarrassing moments for mom. Not sure if I have a favorite, but here are a few quotes from her.
"Ook Mommy, Ook! Ook how clean the potty is-it is so white! Not like ours."
"Mommy, you got big girl panties, too. Yours are big."
"Yea Mommy! You went pee pee. Do you need to go poo poo?"
"Mommy, why you wearing a diaper." (loved that during my time of the month)
"What that noise? I think it was a monster."
All of these statements are at the top of her lungs since she has no volume control. No, nothing is too personal for my girl!
My favorite is when you are in the grocery store shopping and she yells, "I gotta go potty!" Not wanting to look like a bad parent or have a repeat of the party store, I make a straight line for the closest bathroom. As I am running around like a mad woman trying to get there in time, she just hums along as if in another world where she forgot she had to go.
We get to the bathroom where she insists on touching every germ-infested surface. I throw open the stall door to hear: "I don't have to go potty!" The conversation that follows could send me to the nearest child protection agency. It follows something like this:
"You need to at least try. You just told mommy you had to go."
Her response, "no!"
"(Insert first and middle name), mommy ran over here because you said you had to go potty. You need to at least try to make sure you don't need to. Mommy stopped shopping to come in here, you need to try!"
"No!"
This is where the conversation gets bad and I just put her on the potty only to have her scoot to the edge of the seat so that if she does go it goes on the floor.
"That is it!" I scream at this point totally losing the parental cool. "Let's go, but if you pee in your pants, you will get it."
"I'm not going in my pants, Mommy."
We finish shopping, get groceries in the car, drive home and go to get out. Of course, she is wet!
"Mommy, I pee pee."
"What, in your car seat?"
"uh huh"
So now I am washing a car seat as well as getting the groceries put up. Oh, the joys of potty training?!?
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Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)Poor Laura! I'm so sorry, but I was laughing the whole time! Very entertaining article for us but I know you will be glad to be past this time of life...if it ever comes!Thanks so much for the comment! I think one day I might even look back and miss these times! Can't wait until that day :)
hi laura, ah, yes, the trials and tribulations only a mother would know. my daughter was less than 2 when she was unsnapping her onesies and going to the bathroom herself. my two sons, i thought would never get the hang of it, and forget about the snapping altogether! thanks for a cute, enjoyable, funny story. best regards, sueThanks Sue for the comment! Unsnapping is very impressive. . . my daughter still has trouble with her jeans and that is one snap. :) Hope you have a merry Christmas!
Laura, you paint a pretty picture, or at least a wet one for my wife and I as we're still many months away from these delights. We have it all to look forward too! haha. Thanks for the warning and at least we'll know we're not alone! :P Merry Christmas, Ben.Ben, Thanks for the comment! I will start praying for you now! :) My advice is buy lots of tarps. . .j/j. Seriously, I wish the best for you and your wife! Merry Christmas to the both of you!-Laura
I am trying to potty train 2 boys...ages 2 and 3....well the 2 year old just watches and trys to even when he doesnt have to which is a good start...the 3 year old is doing alot better since I first did the treasure box technique, I wrote an article on that, now it's come down to no playing on mommy's computer until you get 3 stickers a day. Meaning he has to pee at least 3 times a day in the potty.......well it's working....he is up to like 5 times a day or so now..... I just have an idea to tell all the moms and dads that are trying to train little boys to pee in the potty..... put a froot loop, cheerio, or whatever kind of cereal into the toilet and tell him to try to pee on that, actually they think its really fun to try pee on the piece of ceral floating around inside the toilet...
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