Finding Humor In the Bad Days: The Red Boob, Soaking Wet Doctor Fiasco
Posted: Wednesday, November 12, 2008
by Laura Trahan
It is flu season in Houston. Which means if you go out of your house at all, you need a shot for survival.
My son had the flu last year. We took him in the first day he had symptoms and were told by a stand-in doctor that he was fine and just had a "virus." Two days later, we were back in and he was diagnosed with the flu. This time we were told it was too late to give him medicine to get better. Before it was all over, he missed seven days of school, and was diagnosed with pneumonia and double ear infections. This year was going to be different.
The only problem? An eight year old that is terrified of needles. Yes, I said eight. So here I am in the doctors office with an eight year old screaming "NO!" at the top of his lungs. The perfect cap to the perfect day. Let me rewind.
I teach toddlers two days a week. Today was one of those days. We were doing apple prints. For those unaware, you cut an apple in half and let the child dip the apple in paint and stamp it on a page.
At one point, one of my children was about to stamp his shirt. In an instinctual move I reached across the table to stop him. In the process, my own boob was now dipped in the paint.
This led to, yes, well-deserved ridicule from fellow teachers throughout the day.
"I thought you guys were dipping apples today? What kind of class you running in there?" a fellow teacher jokes.
My favorite was my friend working with the babies that now grabs her boob every time I walk into a room.
But I persevered, knowing the task I had before me: get off work, rush to my son's school and get him to the doctor on time.
I rush to his school in the pouring rain, assuming that I could just park under the overhang and run in real quick to minimize the soaking that would naturally ensue. Unfortunately, the car pool nazis who are always determined to be the first in line were already moved up.
"Are you kidding me? It is forty minutes before school lets out," I grumble.
I park on the road and grab two umbrellas. Pull the girl out to run in and check out her brother. The street is flooding so my pants are wet along with half my front side because of the wind.
We go to head back out of the school and it is raining harder. In the process, my son goes to get in the car and can't get the umbrella down. I take his and mine, which are open and head back to my side. The wind blows and both umbrellas are turned inside out and there I am laughing at trying to get two umbrellas turned back right and closed.
I say all this because I am now soaked head to toe. And it isn't that kind of wet that will dry quickly. By the time we made it to the doctor, I could not even sit in the waiting room because the chair would be soaked.
Back to being in the exam room above, I am soaked head to toe. I have red on my boob that I am trying to hide. All the while my daughter is pointing at my boob every time the red shows and screaming, "Red."
I am listening, trying to portray myself as a mom who has it together, when I obviously don't, to a doctor tell me that my son really needs another shot besides the flu shot. For the terrified kid, it is now two shots he must have. All I can do is laugh.
The nurse lets my son talk her into letting him go to the bathroom.
"Which one of you let him go to the bathroom by himself," the doctor asks. "When do you let a kid who is scared go into a room that locks from in the inside? You think he is going to come back out?"
All I can do is laugh and for a brief moment want to cry.
My son did come back out. He did get the shots. He was dramatic, but in the end he was also a trooper.
So ended the day of the red boob, soaking wet doctor fiasco. I survived and that is all that matters. Sure I had no dignity left, but isn't that what being a parent is all about?
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Hi Laura.That was tough day! And I am sorry, but from my point of view, it was also amusing. :)Thanks for the uplift,DianneThanks Dianne! Glad you got a laugh!-Laura
hi laura,no one but a mother can understand the simple goings on of trying to do the job well, with children who automatically go the opposite ways. or the world that gets in your way while trying to take care of these little beings.while your boob was in red paint, mine was in a torture chamber, getting my mammography. be grateful:)my best to you,sueUgh, Sue! I am grateful! Probably the worst thing about being a woman! Thanks for commenting!ah, maybe not the worse thing, my physical is saturday:)I could see that as worse! I will be praying for you! -Laura
LT,, thanks for a laugh well needed!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oops, did I enjoy that too much? What a trooper and you are one brave mama to share this story :-)And I thought my boob story was bad. You win.HA! I am so glad I made you laugh! You know that is my goal in life! :)I hope you are doing good! I have been praying for you today!You know I only wrote the story to beat you! You know how competitive I am :)
Laura,First of all, I'm not sure it's OK to write the word "boob" never mind read it. If there are no Federal Broadcasting Restrictions and it's OK for you to write it, please get back to me so I can finish reading your article. Oh, by the way, if the FBI, CIA, or any of those initial organizations ask, I didn't actually read the word. I have an unnamed friend who told me about your article. She said, "Jeff, there appears to be an interesting article on searchwarp called "Finding Humor in the Bad Days: The Red Mammary Gland, Soaking Wet Doctor Fiasco." Oh, and that word Broadcasting? It means transmitting of signals and nothing negative to say about women. And . . . excuse me. Ah, ha. Ah, ha. OK, thanks Janet. And I'm told by a source here that when dealing with mammary glands and broadcasting, you have to be reaaaaaaaal careful that there's no fall out. Loved the article in advance. JeffThanks Jeff! I will refrain from using the boob word in my reply. . .oops! Oh well, couldn't resist!
The only good thing about having days like that is so you can laugh about them later. Thanks for the laugh.I do not believe in flu shots for myself because the last time I had one I got the flu really bad. I had never had it before or since, I hope my streak of luck lasts.Thanks again,Marilyn
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