Five Reasons A New Puppy Is Not Like Having A Baby
Posted: Sunday, January 25, 2009
by Laura Trahan
We acquired a new puppy for the kids for Christmas. It was one of those things where I was outvoted despite the fact I would be the one around him the most.
Anyhow, since that time that my husband brought him home, I have heard one statement over and over.
"It is just like having a new baby all over again," people continually say. Well, I have to disagree and this is why.
Just yesterday, I was cooking on the stove. Basic rule of having children is to turn the handles of the pans to the inside so the children can not reach them. I still do this. Our puppy will stand up and put his nose and mouth on the burner trying to get any food. The sad thing is that the burning doesn't make him get down. Just not the same responses a normal child would have. If I child feels burnt, they immediately move.
2.)Babies or shall I say most babies do not use family members for chew toys. You never see a baby just gnawing on someone's leg or arm to the point of drawing blood.
My husband thinks this dog hung the moon. My daughter can be walking with blood coming out of her wrist where the dog has chewed her like a bone and his response is always that, "he was just playing" or "he is just a puppy."
A baby can not fit a four-year-old's entire leg in their mouth. A puppy can.
3.) Babies tend to not chew on walls or furniture. MY coffee table no longer has a corner. It is now curved on one corner. Need I say more. With babies you worry about them falling into the coffee table. With puppies, you worry about them eating it until there is no more table left.
4.) Babies are cleaner. Let's face it, bowel movements and relieving themselves is nicely contained in a diaper. Our front yard looks like it is the middle of a mine field of poop. Not only that, our puppy has the tendency to hide poop in the house in the most unlikely places that you find only when you least expect it. Babies don't go as nearly as much as puppies.
5.) Babies don't hoard food. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to put on a shoe only to have your foot stick to a slobbery rawhide that was buried in there moments earlier. And since we are talking about slobber, when was the last time a baby just came up and licked your entire face, leg or toes?
I contend having a puppy is entirely different then a child. A child is your own flesh and blood, you can overlook some bizarre behaviors. With a dog, it is not from your loins so watching him chase the wind, or bark at himself in the mirror really does make him look like he isn't the sharpest dog on the block. Still with pride, you find yourself declaring he is your dog as you grumble back to the house in embarrassment.
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHHAHA, This was great, I love the animation and very descriptive content of this write, and I was rolling on the floor. Mind you, I'm sympathtic in your frustrations, however you have a witty way of drawing a picture in ones mind, that is like reading a comedy script. I was talking to my daughter in law, who you remind me of so much, and I told her to get on searchwarp and read your articles. I am still rolling on the floor!!! As usual, very entertaining, and you paint a perfect picture, enough to put me into hysterical laughter!!!! Well done my friend in pen, well done!!!!!
Very funny stuff Laura. One day, after you've carefully scripted the unexplainable disapearance of your new puppy, you'll look back and laugh at all you've gone through. Thanks for the morning chuckle, I enjoy your writing and take on mommy hood!
hi laura,this was a great article. i could picture everything, it was perfectly explained.I have had 4 dogs and 2 cats, so i know what you are saying is true. you added your jovial spin to it, and it came out nice,thanks for sharing,my best to you,sue
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