The Struggle To Remember The Meaning Of Christmas
Posted: Monday, December 11, 2006
by Laura Trahan
Growing up, my family was not wealthy by any means. So Christmas time was always a stressful time for my parents. I grew up to a dad who constantly told me that he “hated Christmas more than anything in the world."
As I grew and matured in my Christian walk, I realized that Christmas was not something to be hated, but instead something that should be celebrated with singing and praising of God. For so many, Christmas becomes a time when we focus on miracles and the power of God. This is not a bad thing per se, considering how much of a miracle the birth of Jesus is to those who believe. But it does leave us waiting and wanting more sometimes instead of seeing the miracles that daily surround us.
There have been countless Christmases past when my husband was given a bonus just in time, or we had overpaid escrow that year and found a check in the mailbox, I could go on and on. But somehow, every year I still find myself lacking faith and looking for that Christmas miracle. This year, my daughter is scheduled to have tubes put in her ears this week. It is a huge deductible that we have been told has to be paid before she goes in that day. I find myself completely stressed with my stomach in knots once again. Do I doubt the power of God or his words that he will provide for me?
The words of my father keep echoing in my head. As things pile up and get worse, cars breaking down, etc. I see how easy it is to feel like he does. It isn’t that my father didn’t get Christmas and its true meaning. I understand now that he wanted to be able to give more than he could. The truth is that is not our responsibility. We are to give, don’t get me wrong. But God is the one who provides and that is what I am daily trying to remind myself.
Last night during an exercise doing the advent calendar with our kids, God once again decided that I needed a wake up call. Of course, he used my six year old to show me that the concept of his protection and care is surrounding me. The question was, “Why do you love Jesus." For adults, this can sometimes be a hard or easy question depending on the time of life you are in. It shouldn’t be hard. But I think our flesh makes it a hard question. My six-year-old just blurted out, “Because when we need money or food he gives it to us."
There it is. Could God remind me in any other way? I hate being told to get it right by a six-year-old. My answer is because he is so giving. As I looked around that table and saw my kids with those eyes lit up while we discussed the baby Jesus, I couldn’t help to feel like I have the best gift of all. I have an amazing husband and two amazing kids, but most of all I have a God who was willing to come to Earth and die for me.
I have a Savior who was willing to die for me despite all that I am not, despite all the times I forget Him, despite all the times I curse the holiday that celebrates Him, despite my lack of faith, discipline and a whole lot more flaws. He is always there.
So the true meaning of Christmas for me is a love that, no matter what gifts are under the tree or debts that I will owe when it is done, Jesus loves me and died for me so that he can provide me with all that I ever wanted or needed. Now if I can just remember that daily.
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)Beautiful article, I agree with you 100 percent. I am a christian as well, and I still remember my parents throwing it up in my sister and my faces, 3 years after christmas's, that there still trying to pay for the christmas three years before that, it wasn't a conversation that was nice, it was one that went....You selfish little brats you don't deserve anything, were still trying to pay off christmas from 3 years ago.....etc...etc.....so that made me not really want anything for christmas ........now that I am an adult....I forgive them for saying that, cause they were stressed out with bills etc.....but your right christmas is about Love. Actually this christmas that just went by, I told my husband that I didn't need anything for christmas, but I got him a little gift from our kids. He never got me anything, which is ok with me, but it hurt that he never got the boys to sit down and make me a drawing or something. That is thee most important gifts to me ever for any occasion, I love it when my kids draw me a picture, they are only 2 and 3, but I save everyone one of them, as I do other pictures that my neices and nephews drew for me also. My sister and her hubby, don't have money at all, and she wanted to get me a gift for christmas, I told her just to get the boys to make me a christmas card....I love them, when someone makes something, they put there love into it....I tell the boys about Santa coming, but I also teach them that it's Jesus's birthday, so on Christmas morning, before we did anything we sang Jesus Happy Birthday.
whao after I read my comment, I see lot's of mistakes in it...sorry, should have taken more time...
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