Lessons Learned From Returning Home
Posted: Thursday, December 31, 2009
by Laura Trahan
Every year we take the eight-hour journey back to my former life as a child. Granted it is suppose to take eight hours to step back in time, but this year it took a little over ten hours.
This journey was filled with endless lessons, so I thought I would share in hopes that some pour soul out there will be spared their own catastrophe.
We were intent on leaving early since our stay was already not long enough for those we would be visiting. It was looking good considering we packed among a destroyed house after a day of Christmas activities. Not to mention the fact that we were running on no sleep since our son woke up at 3:52 a.m. the first time wanting to open presents.
We turned out from our street and began our travel. It wasn't long until we heard the most unusual sound. It wasn't a flat tire like we suspected. Instead, a piece of the rubber on the tire had come off and was hanging off flapping on the pavement. So after and hour delay at a Wal-Mart, the day after Christmas along with a $100 later, our tire was fixed and we were back on the road quickly trying to make up time.
Two hours later my daughter wakes up complaining of a stomachache. Two seconds later, our back seat is covered with chocolate milk. Nothing stinks worse then thrown up chocolate milk. So gagging all the way in, we visited our second Wal-mart for the day. To all those people in the Lufkin parking lot, I apologize for the naked five year old and the stress flying out.
My advice: Be prepared. We learned an important lesson that day. Paper Towels, wet wipes, Lysol spray should always be packed in the car for disasters such as these.
Kids have it so much more today
Yes, just picture me in overalls and gray hair sitting out on a porch! Remember in the old days when you were destined to have car games, long distances of fields to look at or just sleep. No longer is that the case. At one point I realize my kids were both glued to different electronic devices while my husband surfed his iPhone for music.
At one point, we traveled showing our children our college, the lake and park complex we hung out, my childhood home, etc. The entire time they were glued to these devices. They missed out on everything!! Then to see nephews with cell phones and on Facebook, I have to admit I was depressed and felt old commenting on how different the times were from when I was a child. I still am in shock that I have a nephew who is a teenager and taller then me.
Advice: Just don't say it. No one cares anyway and it makes you look old to the kids.
Distance does not matter with family
No matter how far you live from family, you can always pick up where you left off. With technology, you were never far away any way. Conversations were never at a standstill. Kids have no problem running around crazy with cousins they have not seen in a year.
Advice: Soak in every moment and enjoy the time together. A year between visits is too long. Make sure you capture those moments with a camera to remember all year.
You can't make everybody happy
Driving while getting a ton of texts and calls is never easy. It also is not easy when you are visiting the place you grew up. Everyone wants time with you and unfortunately, there is not enough time. So there will be obvious tension before you even get to town. Between family members fighting and a friend who is not talking to me now because I did not have time for her, we were doomed from the beginning.
My advice: Realize their intentions are good, they just want to spend time with you. Take lots of deep breaths and try to do your best to make as many people happy as possible, but realize you can't make everyone happy.
Things have changed
After being gone from the small town America for over 12 years, I am always amazed when I come back. Growth is unstoppable. While some things look so new and capable of endless possibilities, other things look tore down and different. After, I had to explain to my kids what a mobile home was, words can not describe what I saw. My childhood home looked so small and destroyed. It immediately brought a flood of memories and tears just looking at it.
My dad bought a house and moved in with a girlfriend. This new season of his life was disturbing to me. I felt as if I needed to try harder to keep my mom's memory alive. The lesson learned was that I didn't.
New businesses and restaurants were springing up left and right. We only got lost a million times. Thank God for the technology. I couldn't help to think how a place I spent my entire like in before marriage could slip so fast from my memory. Guess it was a good thing that we had all those electronic devices to find our way home.
Advice: Embrace the change. It happens for a reason.
I guess I share this to say that family is always close despite all the changes that continue to surround us. The lessons I learned will get packed away until next holiday season when the stress hits again and I question our preparedness.
One thing is for certain, the electronic devices and the wet wipes will definitely be packed!
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)WELCOME TO THE SENIOR'S PAVILION- IT'S THE ENTRANCE-WAY INTO THE SENIOR'S COMMUNITY RETIREMENT COMPLEX- MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.
Great story but you might want to add a few large plastic bags along with the handi wipes. Might save you some clean up if you can get it there fast enough.Happy New Year--------Linda D.
Hi Laura, I laughed, crunched my nose, and then got teary-eyed. What a precious testament to your Christmas travels. Embracing change and opening up to the new can be difficult, but its better than fighting it! Thanks for sharing your life's lessons with us! I miss you and I love you!! Teresa
Vacation? What vacation! You need a vacation to recover from your vacation! Seriously, I am glad you had a good time, for the most part. We used to have people mad at us every visit back to Colorado, then one year we decided to notify everyone who might want to see us that we'd be at a certain pizza place at a certain time. It works very well and no one complains anymore. They realize that we traveled 1100 miles to see them and are willing to meet up with us, thankful, as we are for some unstressed time together. Glad you are back safe and sound! Also, very glad I have not had to experience ...uh...recycled chocolate milk.
Some vacation! Barf bags would definitely be in order and thanks for the comic relief---- I am having a bored day otherwise! Marijo
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