Reflections On Growing Older
Posted: Thursday, January 21, 2010
by Laura Trahan
Another year was recorded in the record books for my husband yesterday.
As part of the celebration, we put our kids to bed and watched a movie. Parents of young children know what a treat it is to just get to watch a grown up movie. We watched the movie 17 Again.
The movie spurred some great discussion about regrets. As humans, birthday can mean a time to think about regrets about choices in life. We all do it. We wonder what would have happened if we had chosen this path or that path.
We just view those choices differently. We try to view it as its purpose in a much larger eternal picture. Mistakes are just a dot on an infinite timeline that ultimately got us to where we are at any given moment.
As a Christian, it is almost selfish to think that our little regret or mistake is what led us to where we are at. "If I had only done (fill in the blank) instead!" That is the view we have. We spend so much time focused on what could have been that we miss what we are.
We forget that God's plan is much larger then us and we try to form God into our way of thinking. We forget that he has a plan already played out and it is the story of redemption. Our role in that plan is minimal when we think of it as the whole infinite story.
So we married too young. Does that mean that God took away all that he had planned for us because of that? No, God knew you were going to do that. He is never caught off guard. He is not sitting on the throne saying, "well she made the wrong decision, now what am I going to do with her life?"
The sooner we get to the realization that we can't control God, yet understand or fathom his thinking, the more likely we will begin to live the life God designed for us. If we are constantly looking to understand or justify regrets, mistakes or life-we are focusing on our self and losing the big picture.
Francis Chan sums it up in his book Crazy Love, "We are programmed to focus on what we don't have, bombarded multiple times throughout the day with what we need to buy that will make us feel happier or sexier or more at peace, " Chan says. "This dissatisfaction transfers over to our thinking about God. We forget that we already have everything we need in Him."
It is our nature to do this. Even Adam and Eve did this. They had more then enough fruit and food, but they directly questioned God's control. They saw something. They wanted it.
Chan goes on to say, "Don't we live instead as though God is created for us, to do our bidding, to bless us, and to take care of our loved ones?"
Chan explains that we continually question God forgetting that we have everything we need.
"Why do I have this body, instead of that one?" Why are so many people dying of starvation?" "Why is my family so messed up?" "Why do you not make yourself more known to people who need you?"
These are all questions Chan brings out. I have to admit, I have lived like this with continual questioning of God. It is hard for me to fathom who God really is and if I questioned, prayed for answers, I felt that I had control over my situations.
Finances are bad, ask God for repair. Upset about my past, ask God why He would make me go through this or that. After all, God is in control and my life would not be the way it is if it was not for HIm, right?
Then, Chan said something that really convicted me.
"The answer to each of these questions is simply this: because He's God," he said. "He has more of a right to ask us why so many people are starving. As much as we want God to explain himself to us, HIs creation, we are in no place to demand that He give an account to us."
Are we really that selfish? God owes me an explanation for anything?
As far as my flaws, mistakes, regrets, etc, they all should melt away when I look at the much bigger eternal plan of God. My purpose every day should be to bring God glory. I can't do that if I am focused on regrets.
I am sure as we continue to grow older, we will gain more wisdom and insight into God. I am blessed to have great friends who are older and wiser that continue to share their knowledge with me.
But truly knowing and understanding God is not possible until His perfect completion.
As my husband and I look to put another birthday year in the record books, I pray we don't even have the inclination to look back because we should have lived every day for the glory of God with no regrets! At least if we have regrets, I hope we don't waste the time to focus on them!
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)Laura you are much too young to have life figured out. But with every article I read of yours, that's what I see. A young mother, wife, woman, who knows what's important in life, and life's purpose. I am not one for looking back. I don't like to dwell on past decisions that could have perhaps put me at a different place in life. I think I'm at this place for a reason, I'm surrounded by the people I am for a reason. I may not know the reason, but I trust it's where he wants me. This was a great article, very thoughtful and sincere, I enjoyed reading it.Thanks Brianna! I can't tell you how much that means to me! I actually contemplated not uploading this after I wrote it! Thanks for the reassurance and the sweet comment!!
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