Here I Go Again On My Own
Posted: Tuesday, July 26, 2011
by Laura Trahan
O.k. so I have that song stuck in my head now. Sorry if you do too.
I just have been singing that song a lot lately. You see it has been over a year since I have written anything. How sad is that? I left SearchWarp.com last April with such high fantasies of all this stuff I was going to get accomplished and the hopes of finally reaching some long lost dreams of mine in writing.
Over the past year, I lost my voice. Here is the truth. I am weird, I am strange and I do not follow "the process" that other writers are so proud to share. I was never the norm. Which is probably why I never met all of those goals and achievements that I thought I was going to when I left writing for money.
I woke up one day and my voice was gone. I say that because before I wrote anything, I always had this voice in my head that was composing. I would sit around often looking like I was in space composing entire articles and stories inside my head. The voice would drive me insane until I finally sat down and started typing what it was saying-much like I have been going the last few weeks. Even as a reporter, I would write like this. During interviews, I was writing leads. During sleep the night before deadline, I would be writing complete articles praying that I would remember everything in the morning.
Can I interject just a "Thank God for Coffee" statement right here! By far one of His greatest inventions!!
I had always written like that. Hence, the reason I hated editing my own stuff because the time I finally got it to the screen, I was tired of the piece. I know I should be admitted to the looney bin, but that is an entirely different post. My voice was there for the first few months, but I kept ignoring it. I would say things like I needed to get cleaning done, I didn't "have to" write now or I had more important work to do.
About a month ago, I had this pain in my heart. I missed writing. The problem was that my voice was gone. Needless to say, I had an identity crisis right there. My dreams of one day being actually considered a writer were gone down the drain probably with all the cleaners and wasted time over the last year. I felt loss. I felt I had no sense of direction anymore.
Due to the last few weeks of prayer and crazy tears-yes writers can be a bit melodramatic, this blog post means more to one person then you could ever imagine. I did it! I am official! I am writing again! Here I am on my own with my own blog doing it again!
Yes, you can imagine some really bad out of tune singing right now! I wonder if I can find an 80's punk rock wig to go along with this new rebirth???
Please keep the disrespect tomorrow when I have nothing to compose to yourself. This is new for me and I am just starting out again!
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